A slave to perfection, Professor Leakey measures for 'maximum capacity' at the Tokyo Egg Dome. Well, well, well, the gang's all here!

Now that I'm back from my mission in Europe, I finally have time to do a write-up. Here it is -- a brief description of what life is like for a Urinal Cake Distributor.

I broke into UrinalCake Disribution when I was the tender age of 11. I'm now 43 and instructor of Urinal Cake Distribution here at the CCK. People I've trained to distribute include Ike "I see you pee" Carter, and Peter "your hands are where?" McGuigan. I enjoy what I do. But if I had to do it again, I would have went to college after high school and got an education and become a lawyer or doctor. Urinal Cake Distribution is all I have and know what to do. Take my advice and probably your parents, stay in school, be a leader. Don't ever take drugs. Go to college and be somebody. I'll see you out on the latrine.