You're interested in registering for enrollment at the CCK, eh?
Well, first be forewarned! This activity requires skill. Unlike our "entrance exams" of past where simple clicks of a mouse button was all that you needed to do, we feel prospective students as yourself are in need of a more challenging test.

Below is a list of some situations which you might find yourself in if accepted into the school. Answer them as to how you would react if found in one. Keep in mind that our admissions department gages student's intellect on two, and only two criteria: creativity and imagination. If you have neither, we suggest you don't waste your time as simple "yes" and "no" answers result in immediate disqualification.

Once you've complete the following form, click "submit." We'll process your application as quickly as possible. If our systems are up to snuff, you'll recieve an email informing you of how you did. If you're considered "CCK Material" you'll receive a large, yet still fictitious, pat on the ol' back; not to mention information on how you can become a card carrying student! But for those of you who fail,'ll just have to wait and see what you get.


  1. You are confined in a trunk with Dr. Ken. All you have on your back is a one-pocket lab coat, nothing more nothing less. In that lab coat there is some string, a butter knife, and a bottle of CCK brand petroleum jelly. What would you do?

  2. Jules "Big Daddy" Armstrong has an opening for the following job position: entry level ho'.   For your interview, Professor Armstrong wants you to wear something nice. What would you wear?

  3. Twelve days ago you committed a dastardly act on school grounds -- what you did was so horrible it can't be mentioned. Anyway, you are tried and convicted of your crime. However, since the Supreme Chancellor is such a nice fellow, he allows you to choose your own punishment. The choices are: a) a caning at the hands of Col. Kenneth Blue,  b) allow yourself to be tied to a tree and receive the whooping of your life from "Crusher" Van Nostrem, or, c) the chore of giving Old Lady Kensington her weekly sponge bath. What punishment would you choose and why?

  4. "Count" Sven, is holding a seminar on the art of cavity searching at your local sizzler. Would you go?

  5. Suppose the Supreme Chancellor was hit by a runaway moose and as a result, placed in a never-ending coma. In his absence, anarchy rules. If given the opportunity, would you go back in time and sacrifice yourself to the moose to save his unholiness from harm's way?