As one of Big Daddy's finest students, Virginia the call girl sure knows how to arouse waiting customers. Big Daddy is back in da house!

YESH! I told ya your Daddy would be back to write this. Hey, your Big Daddy's an honest man; just your average Canadian conductor tryin' to the best of his a-bill-i-tee's to earn a livin'. Honest! Let's get to the business at hand shall we?

Big Daddy'll teach your dirty-ass self how to dress appropriately for the occasion. To aid in this, your Daddy'll take you on a virtual tour of the finest ho' boutiques in your local myou-nic-i-pal-i-tay. From garters to socks, bobby-pins to peek-a-boo undies, your Daddy will have it covered.

Big Daddy's also gonna whip you into shape. Gregarian mouth chant exercises all around! (Please tell me ya don't need your Daddy to explain that one!)

But last of all, and this is the most important skill you're ever goin' to learn: the legendary "Big Daddy Strut!" By using state-of-the-art frame by frame video, I'll teach you not only the jiggle and jive, but also the exact angles of elevation at which your posterior must be raised to perfectly execute "the strut."

But really, what's the good of all this if Big Daddy doesn't teach a history lesson or two? Film strips (hey, anything that involves strips I'm all for!) on the legacies of self degredation and the time honored art of seduction are the order of the day.

And that's the course according to Big Daddy. YESH!

Well now, how should I approach this so all those lame ducks out there unable to hear what I'm sayin' don't piss on Big Daddy for speakin the word? How? I'll tell ya how! Yo brother/sister, it's called Prostitution Marketing, and to earn a degree ya gotta take the course. But wait what's this ? Yes. Yes, it's true. Big Daddy's teachin' the course. So if Big Daddy's teachin' that would make him the boss; and if I'm the boss, that means I can do what I want! And if I can do what I want, that means I can say what I want! So to all those L-7's out there who just can't seem to get over that po (rhymes with ho', Ho!) little-cal co-rectal (Big Daddy ain't never heard what the use of one of those was for. HAIL NO!!!) ness thing, I got three words for ya,


- Jules Armstrong