Hello out there in civilization and welcome to Ecum Secum, Nova Scotia; home of the largest unknown distillery in the free world! Just don't tell that to Sgt. MacDonald down at the slaughterhouse, okay? For some reason or another the coppers down here aren't too appreciative of our entrepreneurial spirit (or is that "spirits"?).
Ya' know, Ecum Secum has a long history of producing alcohol, mostly whiskey; and other alcohol related products, mostly rum, in its temperate forests and old abandoned wood shacks. It's been said that the tradition of runnin' can be traced back to when our ancestors from the drunken pubs of Sneem came on over during the potato famine. Soon, the settlers began applying their trade and the repuation of the town being a "marathoner's dream come true" began to grow. Why, they even go on to say how our proof is so high a friggin' lobster can get tanked!
While at the campus, you'll learn all the tricks of the trade ranging from the mixing process, distilling process, bottling process, labeling process, and all the way down to the cleaning out of the friggin' corrugated-cardboard stills.
You didn't think we used any of that inpractible stainless steel stuff did you?
And don't you worry about the lack of extra-curricular activities. No sir-ee! It certainly isn't all work and no play aound here; we know how to have a good time. While the young ones enjoy gettin' together with their friends and their choice case of forties, we old folk would just prefer to go on over to the neighbor's house with a pint of Guiness from the homeland.
Now if knowing that wasn't enough persuasive material to get'cha on down here I got something to show you. Take a look at that picture up there -- we Ecum Secumers know how to ring in the New Year! Add a couple costumes and ya think it was Halloween!
So come on, join the party, and enroll yourself in at the Ecum Secum campus today before Sgt. MacDonald shuts the joint down.