WA' SUP HOMEBOYZZZ? Grandmaster Shagtastic Big Daddy'z IN DA' HOUSE!!! It seems that Hap Torbay was spendin' not enough time reportin', and waaaaaay too much time indulgin' in his passion for under-the-counter pre-scrip-shun drugs. To each his own, your Daddy says, to each his own! I figured as long as Big Daddy's steelin' the spotlight from the Hapster, I may as well bring it back to the main topic of dis-cus-shun', that bein' the protest at the G.O.D. And of course, your Daddy's got all his bases covered (let's see, we've got first base, second base, third base -- hooo baby, I'm getting all worked up just talkin' about it!) Of course, bein' the expert in preparation (or was that pene-... nooo way!), your Daddy had one of his investigative ho's at the scene, gatherin' information, and of course, doin' what ho's do best -- makin' tea and crumpets for the famished protesters (what did you think I was goin' to say, this is a PG-13 website you know). So here's the dirt, fresh from the ho's mouth to... Uh, we'll let you figure that one out! Ho': "Hi there, my name is Trixie. Um... I'm 5'4", have blond hair and blue eyes, and my likes are-" B.D.: "Shut your mouth, ho'! Don't you know why I got you here? Tell 'em about the protesters 'fore I'm forced to get medieval on your skinny white hiney!" Ho': Oh, sorry. Well, there were all these people, and they had signs that said 'The D.O.G. is Dead', or something, but the thought of a poor little puppy dying made me so sad that I had to close my eyes, but then I tripped on something and fell down. But it wasn't all bad, 'cause I picked a really pretty flower." B.D.: Ohhhh brotha', Big Daddy shoulda' known better then to send a ho' to do a man's work! Well, it seems your Daddy's foray into the journalistic pro-fesh-un didn't get off to a great start. In any case, we'll be stickin' with this story to the end, askin' all the important questions, like: Who burned down the former G.O.D. headquarters? What is the C.L.O., and what do they have to do with it? Are the rumours about the Russian shorts factory true? Is Hap Torbay going senile? Is this story really newsworthy material? Until we meet again, this is Professor Jules Armstrong askin', WHO'S YOUR DADDY???