SUPREME CHANCELLOR Sheldon M. MacKinnon

faculty heads
Tino Conchita Dean of Tourism & Hospitality
Dickie Dumphry Dean of Extension & Community Affairs
Seth Hackenschmidt Dean of Entrepreneurship & Small Business
Lenny Horowitz Dean of Physical Education
Lionel K. Humphry Dean of Law & Justice
Dr. Ken Dean of Medicine
E. Manuel Dean of Sciences
Aidan Neville Dean of Religious Studies
Vern Quassa Dean of Construction & Engineering

professors
Jules Armstrong Professor of Whore Train Conduction
Col. Kenneth Blue Professor of Marital Studies
Boo Boo Professor of Scavies Prevention
Julio Juan Delasande Professor of Pinta Bashing
Higgie Higdon Professor of Petroleum Jellying
William Leakey Professor of Urinal Cake Distribution
Mavis Kensington Professor of Combat Bra Manufacturing
Amos Pearson Professor of Moose Jockeying
Billy Schtalenkov Professor of Fruit Undressing
"Crusher" Van Nostrem Professor of Schoolyard Bullying
Melvin Waggstaff Professor of Asstrology