Greetings gaming enthusiasts!
Welcome to my introduction on the age-old sport of Cock Fighting. You know, being cooped up on this Russian Whaling vessel has given me the time to catch up on my reading; I've researched and studied Cock Fighting over the last several weeks to the point that I could probably write a book on the elegant sport!
As you probably know by now, and due to my situation, I can't personally teach the course. This isn't to say that you won't recieve an academically sound education. No indeedy, because I've enlisted the help of some of my comrades to teach and help "show you the ropes", so to speak. I've asked Professor Hackinschmidt to help you catch your cock. The little guys are pretty squirmish so watch out! Once you catch him you're going to take him down to Coach Horowitz's dojo where you and your cock will engage in some of those Tae-bo boxercises I've been hearing so much about. Next, you and your cock will enjoy some R&R to, how shall I say this, get more "acquainted" with each other.
And oh, I almost forgot. There's no need to worry about getting picked up by campus security for any "illegal violations" of the criminal code. I just got off the phone with Professor Humphrey, Head of Linguisticks and he once again informed me that illegal just means "good"; in a purely technical sense of the word, of course. There's no need to worry now is there? Besides, the Whoop-Ass Brigade are fully behind us, and quite frankly, from what I've been hearin' lately, they're interested in promoting an event in their mess. Time will tell of course. Cock-a-mania is in November and this is June and my cocks don't especially like the warm weather. But I digress..... The local authorities are whom I'm a little worried about. Personally, I've always been intrigued by the mythic-like battles of cock vs. cock and don't see what all the fuss is about.
P.S. -- Did I mention the sheer athleticsm displayed in these Herculinian wars is no less than astonishing . Anywhoo.
- E. Manual