Vittle Billy here comvrads. Just a few short veeks ago I vas nothing but a big, vat, underachieving slime-vall. All day I vould spend undressing my favorite fwuits and vegetables. Vommy told me I needed help but I didn't vant to listen to her. Afterall, vat does Vommy know about my veeds.
So I kept tucked avay in my basement apartvent. Lonliness took over my heart. I began to reviness about my time in Vother Russia. How I vong vor the days ven ve stood in vine for vat beautiful viece of velba toast. Vose ver the days.
But that vas then. Vaybe Vommy vas right! So I vent to Dr. Ken. My sessions vere very strenuous. I recall laying in a vrone position with my head in the Docor's vap. "Doctor, Doctor",I vould say, "I smell vurnt toast! Doctor, vurnt toast!"
And so it vent on and on and on. Ven one fine vooking vay the Doctor said, "Little Billy my astute child, you are cured!"
I can't vully describe how I velt that sunny afernoon. All my hard vork and dedication to the study paid off. I vas now vree of my addiction and vree of vitamin v. Vut now I vant to take my knowledge of this experience and vocus the energy on you, my vellow vurry creatures, in the art of Sodding!
This year vith me, I vant you to experience the splendors of Vother Vature! I'm able if you're villing, so lock yourself in, Vittle Billy Schtalenkov is going to take you for a valk on the vild side!